Sunday, April 01, 2018


Success as a parent and at work is one of the toughest balances to strike - if not the toughest. Basically at an approximate - you need to spare ~12 hours a day to your children (if not more - especially if you have infants/toddlers), and ~ the same at work - if you want to make a difference and maybe more if you have a commute - plus of course find time for your significant other (who is going through pretty much the same - even more so - if he/she is working) and then of course - find time to sleep. This besides everything else that needs to happen to keep going on. Now - the last time i checked, there were only 24 hours a day.

Suddenly - life becomes more of an exercise. There are those really beautiful moments - and quite a few of them - in comparison to what we had when it was just the two of us. But around these are some really tiring, sleepless, unappreciated, taxing, complicated, frenzied, disorganized, effort filled (this is going to go on.. if i don't stop now ... ) hours of the day. And this is a normal day. There are the other ones - the thought of which itself is disturbing and I would rather not discuss those. This balance seems more and more elusive and  the fear of not being able to do justice to either adds to the sleep deprivation.

It requires well coordinated teams who understand and complement each other - both at work and at home. And that is a pretty big ask. I have seen it happen though. .. which gives me the inkling of hope that one day I will find that balance. But until then. . The routine is -Sleep less. Worry more. And somehow find the time to sleep and the strength to keep going.

California Calling

Full streams and falling pride
Move on out .. Wash them past
The walls we build.. The dreams we killed

Its alright .. Its alright..
Let them burn.. Will light our way..
We 'll be great again.. We'll shine bright
Its just blood.. We'll wash it off..
Full streams and falling pride

Saturday, February 20, 2016


In a lonely large world.. life is a little game..
take it by the horns.. live it by your rules...
but remember yet.. it is but a game...

Jeeloon is pal mein

kabhi hai haasil, kabhi ek khoj
zindagi ek pehloo . sujha na pau
kabhi hu zinda, kabhi khoya
zindagi ek safar .. sambhal na pau

Akela hu sabh ke sangh, adhura tere bin
Hai haasil duniya..
phisalthi reth hai mutti mein..
hu bhataktha hua musafir..
hu adhoora ek kahaani ..

Doondu iss soonapan mein ek manzil
ya bhatku inn lehron ke disha..
kal ka khwaab ka kya patha..
jeeloon is pal mein.. 

Friday, January 22, 2016

Better world

It's a better world. .than the way its told
Its a better world, than what we have been sold.
it ain't so cold, there's hands to hold
And warm words doled.
to embrace, there's arms that unfold
and shoulders lent, when there is a need.

the MLC

As i drive along, a lot many times, i see people standing over bridges - just staring down at the freeway. Watching the cars fly by. watching people pass through. Thousands of stories - a moment of which - they become part of - while all of these moments together adding up to nothing of an afternoon for the ones on the bridge.

My days - of late - seem to resemble more and more - like standing on the bridge watching the traffic flow through under. There's many a story going around - none of which i seem to be of any importance to - or able to make an impact on. Life goes on. And like the ones on the bridge, I eventually get up and head home.

The little ones are the only ones that seem to provide some rhyme and reason to my days - the only silver lining. Maybe this is what midlife crisis is - maybe i should buy myself a bike :) Wait - is 35 like mid life? hmm.. 

Sunday, May 24, 2015


Winds of change changing time...
moving farther everything i considered mine..
but you know.. i 'll be just fine..

wandering wandering on..
wading through treacherous sea..
i wake up again.. i 'll be just fine

words said and unsaid.. all sail through..
remembering the little i did not do..
and the many fights I did not fight. .
I look back now. . and I know it well. .
I'll be just fine.

For its never enough. . Once it's not. .
for the shoes are way too big. .
And the roles too much to play. .
take a step back and look again. . It was always a dream. But you know what. ...
I'll be just fine!

Saturday, February 07, 2015

'Do not go gentle into that good night'

Words to remember (from Interstellar):

Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas1914 - 1953
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Sunday, November 16, 2014


wingless wanderers, travel the wide world
seeking not an abode - i'm told
in them eyes, though i see a thirst
for warmth - for a foothold on the horst..
a space they could call their own
just not one place to hold them down
some find it in the journey.. some wander on...

Thursday, November 21, 2013

A clown and a champion

To be their clown and their champion,
to be their wuss and their Warrior,
to be there day in and day out....
to say good night and hold them tight. .

To be brave and a coward. .
to be strong and fall with a touch....
to be gentle and be abused...
To take the blame and be the accused. .

to walk with them hand in hand,
to carry them and them attend..
to be, with them,  a kid again. .
This is who I am... I am a dad!!!