Sunday, August 30, 2009

calculative to manipulative

The thin line that differentiates the calculative kind to the manipulative kind seems to be fading of late. Maybe becuase there's too many crossing over. It has never been my forte, which might be why, i am sometimes amazed by how calculative people can be. And there is nothing wrong to it either. Good planning more often than not gives good results, afterall.

The first part to good 'calculativeness' [for lack of a better word] is understanding where the line is - the line that separates you from the manipulative kind. There's multiple factors to what defines the line. The first being - resources you can use. The best weapon of the calculative person is frugality. Think before you swipe seems to be the apt'est' slogan. You make the biggest step over to manipulative, once you assume the resources available include people around you. Friends, colleagues, neighbors etc. There's no worser feeling than of being manipulated by the people you consider to be your friends.

Another is the ability to control your calculativeness. The end goal to any wealth accrual plans is happiness. Make happiness a part of your calculations - a major part of your end result. Its a personal choice as to whether you want to give up a lot now to be more content later. But remember there are things you are giving up now, which will not come back. Maybe being able to buy that house a few years before you would have bought it, because you gave up spending time with your friends for a few years will feel good when you get the keys to the house. But remember, the few years lost might never come back. People move away, grow farther apart and the kind if you are not part of their daily lives.

I guess, there's a huge list in the making if i continue on. But I don't intend to go further. The point i wanted to make was, Be calculative not manipulative. And in being calculative - be so considering there's cons to it.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

the art of speed photography..


What's your mood for the day?

conversation about arguments...

I prefer conversations to arguments. Maybe because i never seem to be able to win any arguments. And frankly, conversations are, more often than not, less taxing on my brain cells. For the longest time, i don't remember having an argument from which i have come out not having a bad feeling in my stomach [or the general vicinity of where it is].

I am not going to go into an analysis of why, because i have been there and it hasn't been any fun nor have i had any luck figuring it out - the result of which, i guess, is that i tend to avoid any argument. I tend to run away, change direction or find a sad confused face in my huge array of expressions to avoid them whenever possible. But there are times when, well there's no running away - the other person really cares or 'needs' to have the 'conversation'.

Those are the tough ones and every now and then one does sneak through my super tough defenses. And thats when it hurts - because there's an ego and a false sense of self defense that's been breached. I try to protect myself and it hurts even more. But thanks to my exceptionally short term memory, the effects do not last long enough for me to remember to make exactly sure not to get into another argument. And so the cycle of conversations continue until another argument surprises [for lack of a better word] me.