Saturday, June 08, 2013

Deja Vu

I have walked out of these doors a hundred times before. Exactly as many times as I have walked in. But today is going to be the last. I have had told myself a lot many times that this would be the last, but this time is going to be different.

You need talent but that is not enough. Here you need the lady - lady luck. And the lady comes in four different forms and only one of them is a heart. So three times out of four your talent has to wage against a lot of luck. Some are born with it - or so it seems. They come in - make the worst of choices and yet make off with a lot more than they deserve. I - on the other hand - have talent. And that's about all I have - is what it seems like on occasions like these. And more often that not - it seems like I am the one paying off the stupid ones. I have had enough of this. I am not going to pay off these guys anymore. Its not a fair game - this.

I get into my car, turn the ignition on and wait for the engine to warm up. The mind goes back to what happened. Why do i always have to be on the same table with fools like this.

I came in today as usual. I do not bring in too much. I only come in when I have a lot of time at hand. Its a sensible move. I don't bluff too much. And when i do - I am good at it. I do take the occasional risk but not over board. And there's only so many permutations and combinations and I am good with numbers. That with the right decisions - sure moves the numbers in your favor.

She does not always need to know. And I always have the right reason. Did I tell you - I am good at the bluff. I have confessed before. But that was because I wanted to tell her. There were too many things wrong and sometimes she needs to know. But not always. Its not too good - or so it seems for the relationships. But well, she does not understand. And she does not know that I am good. She will know it when I make it big. And would she react the same, if I spent the money investing? Really - its not that different. At least here, I have a better hold of how it goes down. But, either way - for now - its better she does not need to know.

Either way, here I am trying to go back and figure out what went wrong. Rewind 10 minutes. I have been on the table for over an hour now. I have almost doubled what I have brought in. I know almost everyone at the table here. Its better to play with people you have played before. You know there aren't too many wild cards. Lesser 'Lucky' guys.

I have a hand. a pair of kings is always good. I raise pre-flop. Everyone mucks. Except for this dude at first blind. He raises. I call. He has a hand. I have played with him before. One of the 'Not too much going on up there' guys. He's here to gamble.

A K 2 off suite for the flop.
He checks. I raise small - Just to make sure. He says 'Gamble Gamble' and goes all in. He has me covered.
I know him though. He's bluffing. I can see it in his eyes. He makes eye contact but bounces right away. Mutters something about me calling if I wanted to gamble and the kind of nervous talk. He does not want me to call. I say 'All in' as well.
We turn it over. he's got a pair of Jacks. I am doubling up.

Well - not to be. Turn's a 10 and River's a Queen. And this one has no heart.
Everyone knows it. I could not have played it better or made a better choice. Either way, he takes my chips. All of them. And I walk out. Slowly but surely.

This has happened way too many times. I have been in the car for a while now. I reverse and head out. Surely its luck. There's no other logical explanation. Either way, I am done with this. I cannot keep doing this. Its hurting my finances. Its hurting my relationship. Its hurting my family. Its hurting me. And there seems to be no dearth of 'Lucky' ones. I slowly drive home. She answers the door. I say 'How are you honey? Sorry I am late. Lots of work.'

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